Dennis Cowan
Los Angeles, d.7.April.2018

Dennis Cowan

Dennis Cowan was a much loved Los Angeles bike messenger who caught pneumonia and went in to septic shock. He passed away on April 7, 2018.

I'm so fucking mad at you.

You were always like a ridiculous older brother to me. We picked on each other incessantly. When we worked together at the shop the pranks never ended. You used to do stupid dances every time I tried to leave a voicemail with a customer just so I'd crack up and make an asshole out of myself. We never took anything seriously. It was always like the entire world was on fire and we were just standing there, drinking beer and laughing at it while it burned. Everything was funny. Everything was a joke. We were a fucking nightmare but it didn't matter because we had each other.

As we got older and settled down in relationships, we both got a little nicer. You had your family, I started taking the dog show circuit more seriously and working harder and traveling more. We grew up. A little. But we'd still meet occasionally to be terrible and drink too much and say terrible things and laugh at everything and annoy the shit out of our spouses. And of course it never quit on the internet with the back and forth trolling that I'm sure either enchanted or utterly repulsed everybody who witnessed it. Just yesterday I got the most ratchet breakfast at Whataburger and I considered sharing about it online, but I knew you were in the hospital and wouldn't be able to make fun of my bad decisions and tell me I was about to get listeria, so I didn't share. I just cried into the greasy wrapper and hoped beyond hope you'd be back to make fun of me until we were both old enough to burn down the nursing home.

You were such a jerk. You also were the one who forced your way into my house when Cowboy died, even after I said I didn't want visitors. You didn't care what I wanted, you just hugged me and cried. You were my friend and we loved each other. I'm just so hurt and angry that I will never hear your obnoxious voice again, telling me some dumb story that probably wasn't true (then again, who knows? You did after all shoot a man for beating his dog) and following it up with your signature "Oh yeah!" when I told you that you were full of shit.

I still want this to be one of your pranks. I know it isn't. There is nothing I can do to bring you back to us, to your family. All I can do is love you and miss you forever.

Goodbye, Dennis. I hope the weather is better where you are. - Anya Vasilis


Dennis Cowan was one of the funniest, crazy stupid, reckless motherfuckers I’ve ever met. He had so many stories about the dumbest shit. The most squirrelly wtf behavior u couldn’t even think to make up. His dead pan delivery followed by his devilish matter of fact little “what?” guffaw was the kinda stuff that just facilitated the kind of barber shop shit talk that made u feel like u accomplished something really special even though nothing got done. Actually prolly negative stuff got done cause essentially it was procrastinating. Needless to say, I’m skilled in this as well and our conversations always were seinfeldian but darker and meaner cause we seen shit that breaks you. But as long as we rapped we were laughing about cancers and guns and chicks and stuff that hurts inside.

Everything got weird when we had kids. Cause like we both got these weird feelings and motivations to like do shit that made stuff better People? We got nicer? We felt less cursed and fatalism slowly became sarcasm and Love dominated our discussions. Cause now we realized we were actually fucking blessed. Endlessly congratulating each other and telling each other how proud we were of the other and our love of fatherhood and doing it OUR own special inappropriate fucked up fuck all those stick in their asses fake ass parents (bare with me we were just being arrogant and feigning gangsta shit in a pursuit that only allows for a lil bit of gangsta) We were in lock step as far as the jokes and the inappropriateness all while knowing what we both really were saying is that we take this shit deadly serious and could never consider anything short of utter devotion and love for these little magical creature we found ourselves gifted with. Like we stole some shit and were shocked that we actually pulled it off. Two devotees of not giving a fuck and being like God? Fuck God. You’re. Kidding right? Finding out that something Godly was in their care. I know Dennis felt blessed and every moment of little Colton was fascinating in its unimaginable evolution...each day revealing new and deeper Love previously incomprehensible. Dennis is gone as suddenly as the dry punchline of one of our stupid tales designed to catch u off guard, knock ur legs out with abrupt uncontrolled “we’re all fucked laughter” or saying “that’s fucked up man.” And like that he’s gone and all I can do is stare into space knowing that this dry punk rock “holy shit u turned 50!!?” Bike messenger hooligan who found a girl and a son and love is gone after catching a fucking cold that became pneumonia and then sent him into septic shock. now like all of our self deprecating stories of fucking up with women and drugs and common sense and employment and disregard for authority and institutions and people telling us what to do and how we should behave I’m left saying WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED? But this ain’t funny not at all and it never will be and fuck life or your God or whatever supposedly makes the cosmic clock tick cause there’s a good woman in Pittsburgh with a now fatherless boy named Colton who would have had the best Dad gushing over him and chopping it up, drinking beers and shit talking him and they would have been that father son duo who beats up other father son duos and drinks and burps and lights fires and gets excited about guns knives explosions driving like assholes and generally behaving badly while having the soul of a angel or some shit. This is fucked and fuck u. - Don Purnell

I have been thinking about you Dennis Cowan the last time we spoke you were leaving I can't forget what you told me it's been on my mind could I f***** up and Life Goes On I just want you to remember that you're in my thoughts and my prayers I will see you one day my friend - Jimmy Garcia

I'm absolutely staggered to find out my friend Dennis Cowan has passed. My heart goes out to his wife and son. This one is a shocker, and I'm so grateful that he came to visit me at my studio before he moved back east. He must have been on my mind, I showed this old photo to several people this weekend. Goodbye, dear friend. - Jennifer McLellan

Goodbye friend. I just woke up and Im still trying to process what happened. You did not deserve this, and I consider myself a lucky man to have known you. Thank you for being you, and being in my life. RIP Dennis Cowan...... Todd Schoeni

My heart is so heavy with sadness over the passing of a member of our mess fam, Dennis Cowan . Sending love and support to his partner Cara and his son Colton. - Leah Hollinsworth

Forever in our hearts, you will never be forgotten. Ride in Paradise Dennis Cowan. #Ulockmobforever - ulockmob

Thank you for the amazing outpouring of support for Cara and Colton. Dennis fought hard, he was a fighter. He heard messages from friends everywhere cheering him through his hardest fight yet, and he just couldn’t win this one. It’s a mother’s worst nightmare. Please consider supporting his family, Cara and Colton. This fund will help support a young child and his mother with unplanned expenses, loss of income, child care, and many other basic necessities. A gentle heart who loves fiercely, we love you Cara and Dennis.

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