Toronto veteran bike courier Tommy "Toast" Quesnel passed away on
February 19, 2016. Tommy was a much loved Toronto messenger who was
a very talented racer and rider. He was the top North American racer
at the very first Cycle Messenger World Championships in Berlin in
1993.
RIP Tommy Toast Quesnel - a slide show by
Leah Hollinsworth
Dear Tom
Once upon a time you had no cares, no worries. You rode like the
wind. Your soul was light and free. Time passed as it does and
clouds started darkening your existence. You could feel things
getting heavier, darker but didn't think much about it. Good friends
and good times seemed to light your way. Little did you know the
worst storm you've ever seen was heading straight for you. It
engulfed you, as it did to so many others. It threw you in an
irreversible downward spiral. It's impossible not to feel anger
towards the storm...and blame. That storm with it's gale force winds
and devastating destruction took you. It never set you back on the
ground again. You'd come close to us, then it would rip you away
once more. I'd actually be able to hold your hand once in awhile. It
was hard to watch you spin uncontrollably...so I had to stop. I
always had you in my peripheral vision. That storm though, spun me
in the opposite direction and i lost sight of you for a time. It
almost destroyed me. Somehow, someway I made it out. I tried to
bring you out with me but I think you started to feel like you were
the cause of the storm. Absolutely untrue, the storm loved us and
didn't want us to hurt.
Circumstances made the decision in the end and we were hurt very
badly. You would hide from me in the darkness and rain. Occasionally
giving me a glimpse of the Tommy I knew. Always disappearing back
into your sadness, anger and loneliness. Just recently we talked
more. For that I am forever grateful to the force that allowed me to
hold you close for awhile. That gratitude doesn't last long because
the storm finally took you with him. If you're with that storm right
now Tom, please tell him I loved him. I hope the storm has stopped
it's torment. You are a great, strong soul and fought as long as you
could. I have to say goodbye now Tommy. I also have to tell you I am
sorry I couldn't bring you out of the storm with me. We will always
love you and miss you.
RIDE LIKE THE WIND AGAIN
THE STORM IS FINALLY OVER
Mom, Tammie, Anthony, Mike
Dear Tom,
Seeing the world through your eyes was one of the greatest pleasures
of my life…you were so quick, so observant and intuitive, so
incredibly present. It’s why so many people were drawn to you – you
were always able to make a connection because you were able to see
the good and the funny in everyone – things people often didn’t see
in themselves until you saw it there first. If you thought someone
was special, they were. The ordinary had a way of becoming the
extraordinary. While you had more charisma in your pinky than most
people have in a lifetime, it’s not why people loved you. It’s
because you loved them.
If the ordinary became the extraordinary through your eyes, they did
so as well through your hands. You created the most beautiful things
from nothing (things most people would have discarded) and somehow
they became larger than life – just like you. You had such a good
eye – it was your gift to see potential where others couldn’t. You
could build anything and you made it look so easy – from coffee
tables to playgrounds to light fixtures…
Remember our place on Florence? The mosaic tiles and the saloon
doors and curvy countertop you built and the stainless steel table
with the crazy table legs? The brick you exposed in each room, the
thai couches? But that was just the beginning – your vision and
craftsmanship matured with time. You were a creative genius, you
know – but don’t get a big head just because I’m telling you now.
And let’s not forget the riding – so many stories about the
legendary tommy toast! Coming in top place at the Worlds Cycle
Messenger Championships – I remember you told me everyone had been
training hard and were decked out in spandex – you stripped down to
your underwear so you could race and beat them all, didn’t you? Your
legs were like tree trunks and you were such a natural.
Jumping over stacks of newspaper, jumping over cars. Remember when
you were sponsored by some bike company, and then they stopped
sponsoring you when you broke frame after supposedly unbreakable
titanium frame. Or when you got a ticket for speeding - on a bike -
and went to court, only to have the whole thing thrown out because
the judge had read about you in the local press and was a fan. To be
fair, you had been going pretty fast.
Tooting around on motorbikes through Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia and
Laos, going to that crazy tomato fight in Spain, staying in Jimi
Hendrix’s hotel in Morocco – more incredible memories. Making
friends with all the locals everywhere we went, as usual. Sharing
pints of home brew with ancient Vietnamese grandpas and hanging out
with all the kids in every village we visited – they loved you. I
wasn’t happy when you started befriending the wild dogs and monkeys,
though – remember when you had to get your rabies shots?
And then there was tree planting and thinning. You loved your
chainsaw! Though cutting down trees just to clear a path to the
beach was perhaps a teeny bit wasteful. But little did I know what
you had in mind – your island, the one you took a boat out to and
claimed as your own. Population 3 – you, me and Toast. I’ll never
forget that one-man tent we shared between the three of us and how
cozy it was.
Remember all those nights at the Gladstone (before it changed) – we
just sang along – and that New Years we got separated from the group
and ended up wandering into a church and celebrating New Year’s Eve
with a room full of total strangers of all ages and it being the
most amazing night ever? We danced the night away and it was
magical. That could have only ever happened with you. God you were
hilarious – no one could make me laugh like you.
Everything was just better with you around. Even if our lives
drifted apart here and there, knowing you were around always made me
happy. You need both sides of the memory to give it life and now I
feel so alone carrying all these memories on my own. I guess that’s
what hurts so much – we can never again laugh about those times
together.
You could be so wise and you always surprised me with your optimism
and kindness. For someone who thought anything was possible in
others, I don’t know why you couldn’t see the same in yourself. I am
so mad at you for making me say good bye.
Please come back and say good bye properly – come to me in a dream
one night. I’m so sorry we hadn’t talked in awhile – you were never
far from my thoughts. I’m sorry I let go but we both did, didn’t we?
You forgave me and I forgave you.
Thank you, Tom – for being one of a kind, for sharing my twenties,
for growing up together – I learned to love, learned to forgive,
learned to let go. You can only appreciate the world through love,
and I loved you so so much. I remember, and I will always remember.
Jenny April 12th, 2016
For nine months I carried you under my heart, then the time came for
you to leave, it took you 19 hours plus to make you day view,
kicking and screaming you were born.
I held you in my arms, I passed you to your Dad, you were all red
and wrinkled and your father said this is Tommy.
You grew, I fed you, I changed, I did all the things a mother needs
to do, I introduced you to your sister and she loved you on sight.
Mostly though we just loved you and cuddled your and watched you
grow.
You smiled, we smile, and you cried we worried, you grew.
You learned to crawl but crawling wasn’t fast enough you learned to
walk and then run. You grew too big to hold in my arms, too big to
hold under my heart. You became your own person. but falls and
scraps always brought you back to me. As you grew life became harder
for you. You tried so hard to do things for yourself, wanted to be
strong and follow in your dad’s shadow. Where he went you wanted to
be. You grew tall and strong and became more independent.
It was hard for me to see you spread your wings and make your own
way. I wanted to keep you safe but you wanted to run, to fly, to
ride. You did.
You left us, you returned, you left, always the same pattern, but
you always returned if only to say HI.
You travelled the world with your best friend, you soared, but there
was always a dark place waiting. Trying to take you away from those
who loved you.
You and Tammy were the typical brother and sister but the love
between you was strong and you always came back. You fell so far
after your Dad, we did not think you could crawl out of the darkness
but you did with the help of those who loved you.
You fell in love and your daughter Olivia was born, you soared again
for awhile, you loved her so much, you taught her she followed you,
You did all the things a father should do, you taught her to be a
tickle gun, you taught her to be silly, you taught her love. You
were her horsey, jungle gym and her climbing post. The lap she
wanted to sit in. You made her giggle and laugh, but the darkness
came and now she is the saddest little girl.
But you couldn’t stay, the darkness took over and you left again to
the secret place in the soul where the darkness pulled you. The
darkness was seductive and felt like home. You forgot the people who
loved you, who would miss you, who would morn for you.
You threw off the darkness many times over you life but it always
pulled you back. It made you sad but it made you feel safe. But it
was not safe, it was a lie. The darkness took you and this time it
will not let you come back to us. We miss your laugh, your crazy
smile, Your light has been extinguished so we will light candles for
you to show you the way.
Grab you bike, ride like the wind, jump like crazy, but know that
you have left so many broken hearts behind. Family and friends who
will remember and miss you forever and wonder why the darkness won.
Love you forever my dear son and hold you in my heart. Love Mom
Arla Elchesyn (Mom)
March 5th, 2016
It's with a heavy heart I take off my hard
hat for a person who not only worked on my crew, but who really
pushed himself to help others and help me Make It Right. Tommy
worked on my crew on season 1 of Holmes Makes It Right. He was a
character, and if you ever met Tommy you'd never forget him. He will
be missed.
