The District of The Courier

by Lemoan

Mercury Rising #6 , April 1992

Walking Gun DC, May 31 - I wasn’t across The Potomac before I spottedone. Some ten yards from DC on The Key Bridge, I pulled over an out ofbreath mess. He was also soon out of English but I managed to gather fromhim that getting a job in this town could be done in an upcoming REM cycleof my choosing. Relief for me since I blew tons of my money getting hereand needed cash to make it back. So I rolled on down M Street passing literallydozens of messengers ( scuse me, couriers) on my way downtown. Call itluck or a sixth sense but it wasn’t more than 20 minutes before I spieda pow wow in a place called Church Park. I broke the ice with somethinglike "I'm an SF mess and I just rode across this mofo country."They were diggin’ it because they had all done some touring recently andwelcomed me with some attitude adjustment. Soon after that it was quittingtime and time for the nightly conclave of couriers to meet in Dupont Circle-The Jackson Park of DC- and plot the demise of the system. Beers flowedlike no tomorrow, my bike got pegged for an SF bike almost im mediately"cut of the cut down basket, and for just a moment I felt I was backin Merlin Alley (’cept Mange wasn’t there.)

A few days after getting here I met Thomas; yeah you’re brother, Lynn,who hooked me up with Pronto Messenger Service. So I gotta job, sorta.I could be making more in a Popeye’s uniform but I prefer to take the paycut and wear The Derelict uniform, swathing through town with no higherpriority than to annoy the anal retentives. Riding in DC is a trip (bydefinition.) The roads are wide, the cabs and buses are wimpy, there’shella potholes which sucks for the mostpart but there's some bumps thatare great for catching air, especially around Capitol Hill. The place isbasically flat, the main rise being a stretched out Rincon. As I said,overall I’m not making much dough but the riders here are using gravy forchain lube, know what I'm saying? Eric, who worked at PMS and Lightningin SF, pulled in 46 g last year. Business is slow right now and the prevailingtheory is that the lobbyists, who do the majority of the paper pushingaround here, are domg some lip biting because The Representatives theyusually poke may or may not be here in November. This doesn’t seem to botherthe crew who are just off on the same weather you’re get ting in SF rightnow.

Twenty eight brands of cop in this city, and I've had the displeasureof meeting most of them. Similar to the occasional roundup in SF we’vecome accustomed to Dupont Circle being frequented daily by Officer Mosher,U.S. Park Police (The majority of parks here are national parks.) Moshergreets everyone on his route 66 Twinky motorcycle with Welcome to my park."Around noon one day we were all inhal ing lunch on a perfect day underthe shade of a generous tree when" officer friendly busted us cold,my pipe resting firmly against my friend’s lips. He got my stash, didn'twrite us up and was later seen firmly shaded by those pig sunglasses...hmm.The Capitol Hill police kicked me off The Hill like the first week herefor insobordination and the thought police are always just a block away.I could go an like this forever but y’all have lives too, One thing though,for any of you entrepreneur types, there’s a budding scene in New Orleansthat’s in desperate need on instant, reform. (apparently, $5 an hour inthe norm.) So if you’re looking to start Break Neck Messenger Co. or ZippeeDee Doo Dah Delivery try N.O. or check out AUSTIN WHICH HAS NO SCENE BUTCOULD DEFINITELY SUP PORT a small trippy crew.

Yours in retrospect,

Lemoan

Addendum: 9 DC residents gunned down the weekend Iwrote this.

If you have comments or suggestions, email me at messvilleto@yahoo.com