An Audience With the King

By Jefferson

Moving Target, Spring 1997, issue 23

There’s always a gap. What's your favourite part of being a bicyclemessenger? Record money days? The sun coming through after months of relentlessrain? Leaving offices as soon as you enter them? A smile from a certainreceptionist? For Elliott, winner of the 96 Bike Park Alleycat Series andthe 97 Valentine's Day Alleycat Massacre, it is the pure adrenaline rushyou can only get crossing Park Lane from the southbound side into HydePark against heavy traffic.

Many a seasoned messenger (o.k., donkey) has trouble watching King Elslip through Cambridge Circus or the like. It stops your heart, especiallyif you've seen carnage before, But slip through he inevitably does. Elhas an admirably low accident record. "I've only fallen off 3 times.It's a question of road sense really, isn't it? May be once every 3 monthsyou find, once you've done something, that you relied on somebody elsefor your safety. That's bad news really." Elliott puts most upsetsdown to the courier not paying attention, citing a certain fluorescentyellow muppet (not Muppet, mind) screaming down Conduit Street on the inside,just ahead of El, and smashing into a pedestrian that he really shouldhave seen through the car windows. El's theory equates taking risks onpurpose with an enhanced perception and awareness. It is the opposite ofyour average messenger not realising the risks he is taking and thereforebumping into things. Often.

The same principal taken to an extreme has made the man so successfulin alleycats. The Ed calls El 'The Undisputed Champion', partly becauseof his record and partly because the other contenders are increasinglyreluctant to race.

In three years of working together, Elliott has only made me angry once.With my pension staked on a top ten placing at least, he failed to qualifyfor the finals at the World Championships in Toronto, August, 1995. "Iwas in TO for a laugh, I didn't really think that I could win. Buffalowould say: ‘He's one to watch for.' I didn't know why he was saying that.But, having won a few alleycats and done well at Vancouver, now I've gotthe attitude that I can win. The man who wins isn't necessarily any betterthan the man that comes 2nd. His mental state is stronger. He believesthat he can win it. "You ride for a laugh or to take part ... thenyou find yourself in the lead ... it's like ‘oh well, that's handy ...I may as well go to TO for my holiday.'"

The Human Powered Rollercoaster in Vancouver was a surprise score forwinning last years Bikepark Alleycat series. With big-time sponsorshipfrom Dunhill cigarettes (for all your ready-rolled needs ... smoke em guy,you know it makes sense), The original Toronto Alleycats put on a figure-of-eightindoor track extravaganza in a warehouse. What it had to do with couriersor cigarettes or much else was open to speculation.

Free air tickets were sent to alleycat champions all over the world.When El got on the plane in London, he found himself in the heady companyof 95 World Champion Lars Urban from Bremen and British-born Munich-basedfemale sprint World Champion Crissima Pearce. In Vancouver the group weremet by the obligatory stretch limo and ferried into town like rock stars.The competition began with a time trial to narrow down the number fromthe 84 entrants to a manageable figure for the heats. Riders rode threelap warm-ups and then the fourth was clocked. The international messengercommunity were joined briefly by real cyclists. "The Canadian tracksquad came down and took it real seriously for the Time Trial. They thenfound themselves racing in the first heat against some guy with a fag inhis mouth on a mountain bike. They were a bit nervous. They hadn't evermade a right turn before. The professionals scampered, the meek were weededout, and the heats of 10 laps (at about 11 seconds a lap) between fourriders commenced. The riders were on road bikes, track bikes, mountainbikes, and the usual messenger hybrids in the same heats. It made for interestingracing, to say the least. "The course was a little too tight for atrack bike", said our man in the thick of it. "The guy that eventuallybeat me in my heat tried to get around me for three or four laps. I wouldn'tsay he cheat ed, but he muscled his way around me," Lars eventuallytriumphed, avenging his disappointing result at the World Championshipsin San Francisco.

Those of you with the technology should seek out HIDEOUSWHITENOISE websiteat http://www.hideousewhitenoise.com/for an excellent overview of the planning and execution of the track itselfas well as the event. The event came home to TO on April 12 and 13 on aneven bigger track. Which messenger do you reckon won the London qualifyingalleycat race?

Appropriately enough, with Larsov missing (small detail of the birthof a little champ), Joey Dias, TO's Alleycat King finally took the biginternational win that many feel should have been his before now. The finalwas dramatic: 3 TO riders, DC fast guy Chris battled over the 50 laps infront of a baying crowd. With first Chris and then Joey pulling out half-lapleads, it was a hotly contested race, ending with Joey the clear winner,and Chris in 2nd place, de spite folding up of his bike in the home straight.

After that, El is hopeful that this summers Alleycats will be betterattended than last years. In American cities like Washington D.C., theyregularly get 60 messengers out in worse weather than we get 12 out in."He despairs at there only having been 17 racers in the Valentines Massacrewhen there were loads of prizes on offer and the opportunity to win a freetrip to Toronto. "I don't understand it. Stringer should be racing,shouldn't he? Part of the attraction of being a courier is those momentsof pure ... danger ... adrenaline. Great.

The call of furniture design, which has lured so many a top courieraway from the circuit, is also on the agenda. Despatching full-time doesn'tfulfil El's constant need for growth.

"I think there's a point where ...you've been daring it a certainamount of time... if I didn't feel that I was developing in another direction,I'd need to be doing something else. Improving your skills base or yourknowledge base: that’s kind of necessary.. You need to keep learning,

For as long as there is a gap, though, there will be a place for Elon circuit. And for up starts aspiring to his stature? "Go faster.The faster you go, the safer it is ... you can always brake and slow downquite quickly. You can't always speed up as quickly. You've always gotmore potential when you're going faster. There's always a gap."

LondonAlleycat pics from the Timbuk2International Alleycat points series

If you have comments or suggestions, email me at messvilleto@yahoo.com