Moving Target,1991
by Sean Scoop Smiley
"I was heading home one night up the Essex Road after a few pintsat the end of a hard day.
It was starting to get dark but I'd forgotten my lights - half way upthe road a man stepped out between two cars and put his hand up, gesturingfor me to stop. I thought it was some joker so I went to go around him.As I did so he moved to block me. I hit him and we both went down. It wasthen that he decided to tell me he was a Police Officer. Knocking him downhad pissed him off no end so he arrested me and before I know it he's calledfor a van and I'm banged up for the night I was charged for reckless ridingand riding while under the influence at Court the next morning. Two fiftypound fines and for what."
This is just one of the stories I have been told, of couriers sufferingat the hands of your London Bobby. I've heard stories of cops {in plainclothes) yanking cyclists off their bikes for jumping lights (this is assault)but like most people who have had hassle from the Met. they've decidednot to press charges against them as it seemed pointless to report Policeto the Police and expect justice.
It seems Mr Plod is getting more and more frustrated at your ozone friendlycourier, maybe its because they aren't able to set up MOT ambushes forour benefit or endorse our licences, either way there are rumblings ofstrife heading our way in the form of court appearances for misdemeanourssuch as jumping lights or going up a street the wrong way. For your averagecourier/cyclist this is a calculated risk as you assess the situation beforeyou make your move. Most police usually just subject you to the old weare the ones who have to scrape you off the road" routine, othershit you with a fixed penalty fine but its the ones that go over the topwe should look out for, at the end of the day it's only a traffic offence,not an excuse for brushing upon their SPG tactics.
So if you are pulled, be cool, don't antagonise them, you're only playinginto their hands.
Another adversary to watch out for is PC Kinky of Throgmorton Ave. Acourier cycling up said Ave the wrong way when confronted by Mr Plod, whocalled the offender over and after the usual lecture tells the courierto hold out his hand whereupon he proceeded to spank his extremity witha regulation Police leather glove. Oooh!! They can be so masterful at times!These and many other stories are to be found in the Naked City.
Sean Scoop Smiley
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