Voice of Da, #1 - Summer 1996
by Bok Choy
10. Panhandlers know it's a waste of time to ask you for spare change.
9. Earthquakes are good for the messenger business.
8. It's a great excuse to wear spandex.
7. You're able to sweat out the weekend by Monday afternoon
6. Local tatoo artists are great at covering up scar tissue.
5.You get to piss off high paid executives by farting in the elevator.
4. Dispatch radios scare paranoid crack fiends into thinking you'rewith the DEA.
3. Riding up all those hills gives you a tight ass.
2. "People slaloming" - an emerging Olympic Sport
1. Sometimes the paramedics let you play with siren.
Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Not be a Bike MessengerIn San Francisco:
10. People are always asking, "Do you know Puck?"
9. Having to say "Sure, no problem, I'm headed straight there,"with a straight face.
8. One word - "HEMOROIDS"
7. People are always opening doors for you, but unfortunately, it'sa car door, right in front of your face.
6. Your legs end up looking like Popeye's arms.
5. You end up arming yourself with automatic weapons and killing youco- workers....wait a minute, that's the postal service.
4. Saloons become magnets.
3. Some dick scratchers (dispatchers) smoke the same stuff you do.
2. So tired from riding and drinking beer all day, that you pass outbefore Letterman comes on.
1. People treat you like the scum that you are.
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